How to make your man a listener

How to make your man a listener?

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We hear our girlfriends say " girl if he don`t blablablablabla blabla, he is not good for you" Well, sometimes you meet someone, or a boy who has flaws. He drives you up the wall in both good and bad ways. You should never hold on to a man who gives you more pain than joy, and a man should never ever ever, if not by mistake,  disrespect you, your girlfriends, girls in general, or other people. Because then he`ll probably end up disrespecting you later on.

But sometimes we meet people, who are fascinating enough to make us hold on a little while, to check out what could possibly be there. And sometimes we know, that relationships takes time, and one must work on communication and trust , both ways.
So....what if you have meet a good honest man, but he has a flaw, and let say that flaw for today is
" sometimes he is totaly egoistic and really can`t stop talking about himself on the phone, and after talking about himself for 40 minutes he says he has to go because he has to do something".

 And this occurs, not everytime, but more than enough to irritate you, what do you then do to make him understand that this is a bad way of behaving? Because you know him well enough to know that this is just a habit of his and he really does not mean to hurt you by it?

Hmmmmmm.....

Lets think of a plan...

1. Confront him, "Now you have spend all this time talking about yourself, and now you want to hang up this is unfair" But..... the pride in you awakens and stops you before you speak and tells you;" What do you want to accomplish with this?, you don?t want to beg for a man to talk to you, and if he says " sorry , please talk" then you`r already angry so you don`t really want to talk with him after that anyway".  So you probably end up saying nothing, just because you really don`t want to talk with him after that. But, confronting is probably the most adult way to handle it. 
2. If you know he will not understand a confrontation, because he is so (stupid?naive?) stubborn?, used to talk like this that he does not understand that it is a behavior that is hurting. You probably have an even worse case to handle, than a man who really ain`t interested in hearing you talk anyway. Because sometimes that is the case, some men feel that girls talk "girl talk" all the time so they really don`t want to hear "girls talk". Such men are fools and should be gotten rid of, so don`t date guys like that and they all will have to change to get laid. (probably?)  BUT: back to the topic, this guy is just stupid, or is not meaning to hurt you, so what could you do?

• Don`t talk to him for a while, and when you do, talk about yourself and then you say you have to go. This will, hopefully, leave him with the same feeling you get. And in that way, if you choose to confront him later, he will know what feeling to say "sorry" for. Playing games is bad, but giving lessons that can be understood is necessary.
• Make sure that he does not get the feeling of " oooh , she likes me so I can do anything I want". It is good to express your feelings and make sure he knows that you like him, but it is important not to let his male ego get the best of him when he realises that the girl he likes so much adoooores him. It is good to adoooore, but it is not good to let all the power and decision making lay in the hands of the other person, history has proven that humans are not good when  dealing with too much power in a situation. 
• When you talk on the phone, make sure he knows that you have a life. Because then he will know that you are  strong, independent, and has the strenght to leave, if he does something really bad. If people feel that a person will not leave them, some will act badly. Just look at kids that act badly, they know their parents are never leaving so they don`t care about their parents needs, or words. Until they are grown up and get hurt the same way. 

That is all I came up with for now. Have any add ons? please comment.

And yes, this list applies to girls as well. Sometimes girls are terrible listeners. 

And if you are a terrible listener, who has googled " how to be a better listener" because you miraculously  found out that you need to change. A good advice is; learn empathy, stop to think; " could this behavior of mine in this situation be mistaken as hurtful" ?  Because sometimes people ain`t bad. They are just raised differently, and think differently, than you do. But off course, sometimes people are asses as well. Split in the middle, difficult to read, and full of bullshit..... 

Make love not war

Yeah

How to remember things

How to remember things

I tend to forget. Mostly I forget trivial things, sometimes I forget important things, sometimes I procrastinate and forget things I should do, while doing other things. So what is the trick for getting a better memory, when not thinking about all the things I forget cause I want to ? So I googled it and came up with a couple of pointers:


1. Make sure you don`t have a lack of fish oil in your diet. Fish oil, or Omega 3 has been proven to make your brain function better. And most people don`t really eat half as much fish as they should. So go buy your Omega, or else your brain won`t function optimally

2. Do brain exercises, I don`t have any specific in mind but google "brain exercises for memory" and you can check out which ones you think looks the most fun, when you have some spare time.

3. Write down stuff on your mobile or in a book, whenever something pops into your mind, and make it a habit to actually write em down. Don`t buy a book and give yourself a new mobile phone if you never use them for the intended purpose. And if you choose a mobile phone for your writing, make sure you can write fast on it. I hate those new touch screens, I really want an iphone, but i hate touch screens. I write three times slower than I do on the "old" phones.

4. If you are to study, or need to remember things fast, I have tried and found it to be very efficient, to write the information down. Over and over and over and over and over again, because then you need to process it several times. That is also a trick written in this article from psychologytoday.com. But make sure you don` strain your arm before your written exam, so that you have to write in pain during the test. That would be aaaawful, I know!

5 .Vitamin B complex. Vitamin B breaks down homocysteine.Homocysteine is natural in the body, but at high levels it has been linked to alzheimers and memory loss. So be sure that you have that part of your diet in place as well. Read an article about the breakthroug british research here

6. Make it a habit, in this world of confusion and things going by, to stop and; stare, think, blink, pause. Don`t forget that inner child, and learn how to wonder. Wonder about life, bees, honey, people at the coffe shop, wonder about that, him, her, stones ,trees, pollution, politics, wonder about why there is war, genocides weddings, funerals, families, friends, break ups, and bad boys, and bad girls, and good girls and bullying, and lifetimes, and religions, and, rock, blues and hip hop. But do it with an open mind and the spirit of love in you. If there is something you should remember, stop and take it in, It`s healthy, and it is important for the brain, and your health, don`t let everything pass by you in a fast pace.


And remember to remember, that there is nothing more important than to remember yourself, and become aware of you. So that you don`t get lost, in this information driven world; only thinking about what you think you should remember.

How to get your boyfriend/girlfriend to exercise

How to get your boyfriend/girlfriend to exercise

I googled it,  here is a post you could read. It contains reasonable arguments, one must set a good example, be kind and encouraging....

I set a good example, I am very kind, and encouraging, doesn`t work.  When a stubborn man/woman is stubborn there is no can do about it? or?

A tried out method, ready for sharing.

1. Read yourself up on all the info to why, he/she should exercise, like health benefits, social benefits, sexual benefits, oh yeah there are plenty.

2. Then talk to him/her about how important it is for YOU to be healthy and fit, not necessarily trimmed as a vehicle, but fit and healthy. (  As in the wikihow article, encourage health, not physique

3. Talk even more about how YOU feel about getting, old, getting lazy, getting unfit, and ending up as a couple on two couches looking like two couches, which is something I think few people has as a goal in life. And how important you see, around you on other couples and families, it is that people stay healthy and fit to have that lasting sexual life, and attraction to each other, because YES we all get older and things start to sag, AND, it will , YES it will become softer, I am talking about IT, it will become softer, not harder as time grows, if he does not exercise.

And if and when the kids come, and fly out again...... nothing.

As you probably can tell I have a boyfriend I would like to exercise, not `cause he is fat, because he has to live long, to stay with me, period.

And did you know that an early sign of heart trouble is a failing erection.  Or failure to last long or easily loosing that blood from there.   It`s in the Dummies Guide, and you could also read about it here. If you are interested in that subject.  And here is a sum up on how excersise will make sex better. Some pretty good arguments for both sexes there, I`ll say.

Back to topic:
4.  He/she will probably get the picture soon.

5. You should start to talk, kindly, in some situations how getting his/her bloodpump pumping a couple of times a week would be good for her/him. Example; he/she might complain about tiredness, fatiguing, headache, muscle ache, depression, stress, phsycological issues, BUT everytime a fitting "complain" is mentioned, you should come with the solution, EXERCISE. And since you have already read all there is to know about the subject, since you have googled all your boyfriend/girlfriends sympthoms and knows how to relate them to exercise,  you can list up all the symptoms and all the solutions, and how it will affect her/his body in a positive way, to exercise.

5. If he/she does not listen , and does not want to listen, or is not ready to listen, you send her/him a long list,  on all the whys and hows, he/she MUST exercise. And that list, I suggest, should be a collection of all the articles you yourself has read. I particularly googled how; no exercise may  lead to an early death, and found some interesting articles on that subject. (A little dramatic view on the consequences of your choices in life, mostly doesn`t hurt people when done the right... :O )

So did you know that no exercise is as bad for you health as smoking, to say the least.?

Back to topic:
And at the end of that E-Mail, or facebook message, though I think e-mail is more proper, you write " I love you, so you should read this for your self and make your own conclusions, this is not me trying to start a fight, this is just me caring so much about your health that I have spend three hours( LIE, if you only spent a half, ) to find all this info you so can see why you should exercise, I don`t want to discuss this, you should just read and think for yourself as you are a grown man/woman"

6. If that doesn`t seem to do the trick you start a direct discussion about how your sexual life would improve if he/she worked out. That is usually the final argument that WILL tip them over. ( I also read that in all the related articles I have read, so I guess it has to be true)
But, one should be careful going frontal on such sensitive subjects, some will loose confidence for a week or longer, when being fronted with such seemingly harsh critique. But I say, it is not a critique, it is a reasonable discussion between two adults on how they can improve their relation.


I have my boyfriend going to the gym

Took me four months.

Stubborn bastard.
.
.
.
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I don`t mean bastard in a bad way, I just say it so you`ll know how stubborn he is. It is called being dramatical, I am a woman you know.

How to write the first post

Today I googled about  how to make a proper blog, I searched for various blogspot themes, but I didn`t find any, so the layout will be changed later. For now I just settled for this this theme integrated in the blogspot-change-layout function.

So this is a test post. 

Peace